


hold my hands up, breathe in and breathe out

by moss_time



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternative title: disaster bi trio, Drinking, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Other, Polyamory, im posting this again bc something got fucked up, molly is a dumbass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-01 03:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moss_time/pseuds/moss_time
Summary: Molly doesn't know what to do with the feelings he has for two of his companions. Plus some flowers, kisses and drinks.





	hold my hands up, breathe in and breathe out

**Author's Note:**

> title from Lover of the Light by Mumford & Sons, enjoy

There is something about Fjord and Jester that makes Molly feel a lot, too strongly. Makes him feel warm and fuzzy but also makes his heart ache.

Jester and her loud laugh, echoing through taverns and streets. That smirk when she thinks of something that is undoubtedly about to get them in trouble. The joy and love in her eyes whenever she speaks of her mom.

Fjord's steady hand on his shoulder when he senses his anxiety, the need to move, to run. That fondness reserved only for Jester. How hard he tries to be the voice of reason but always ends up going with their bullshit because there had always been a chaotic force in him too.

Usually, feelings are good, they make him feel alive and present, especially the strong, all consuming feelings. The problem is this isn't just the physical attraction, even if there's much of that too. It's the romantic kind.

Molly has never, in his few years of life, had to deal with romantic attraction and relationships.

Sex is easy, usually a one night thing that he'd be able to run away from, if the situation asks for it. No need to stay in one place for too long.

But feelings?

He quickly finds out that those are impossible to ignore, always somewhere in the back of his head no matter how hard he tries to ignore them. Feelings scare him, make him irritatingly anxious around both Jester and Fjord. And of course, the jealousy. It's something he has rarely felt until this inconvenience and Molly despises it.

Another fun fact is, Jester and Fjord are already a thing.

Now, Molly may be an asshole, kind of a bitch really, but hes not about to ruin anyone's relationship. Though that unfortunately doesn't will his feelings away. He still catches himself smiling fondly at Jester's rambling and always gravitating towards Fjord, both in and out of battle. Wishing they would look at him the way they do at each other. Imagining how it would feel to kiss one of them. Both of them. To be a part of that, to feel loved and wanted in a way that was more than physical.

Although he had always been a self-indulgent person, ready to make a damn fool of himself at any time, something about love and romance feels like he isn't made for it. There's a fear, unwelcome but persistent, that he would ruin something, and in this case, disrupt the balance in an already steady relationship.

Which would disrupt the balance in the group that was already a mess. And there's no need for that. Staying aside was the best option for everyone, really.

Except that longing was still there, gnawing at him.

 

* * *

 

 

"You're staring."

Molly whips his head around, wide eyes looking at Caduceus sitting next to him.

"What."

Caduceus, oblivious to the ongoing conflict in Molly's head, nods towards Fjord and Jester. "You've been staring at them since-"

"I have _not_  been staring at them. Why the fuck would I be doing that." he snaps. It sounds too defensive even to him.

To be fair, Molly is pretty shitty at hiding his emotions, romance or not. Jester said it was because of his tail and ears. Said his ears kind of folded when he was sad, and with time he himself became aware of his tail nervously twitching or curling around his leg.

Perhaps he really is that obvious, or it could be just the firbolg's flawless perception. A quiet snort from Caleb's direction points to the former.

"Sure." he murmurs, not looking up from his book.

Molly fakes a shocked gasp. "You too? I'm wounded, Mr. Caleb."

He gets a pained look in return.

Clay looks at him again too, his pink nose scrunched up in confusion. "Was it supposed to be a secret?"

Obvious it is.

 

* * *

 

 

Feelings are a bitch but bearable, Molly decides eventually. Easy to ignore most of the time, he tells himself. Few months later he almost manages to convince himself that he's over them, nothing to be all angsty about.

It's a lie. But Molly has always been extremely  good at lying to himself.

And then Jester kisses him.

It certainly isn't the best kiss he's had. Quick and chaste, stirred by post battle adrenaline. Her lips soft, her hands on his cheeks strong but gone too soon. 

A _we already lost you once, don't be a dick and die again,_ type of a kiss. Probably.

But it is a kiss nevertheless, one that they then never speak about. The only kiss that has ever kept him awake for hours. It is the only kiss that made him feel so much. A kiss that Molly just can't get out of his head.

It certainly doesn't help him with the whole 'ignoring the very unwelcome feelings for my friends' thing he has going on.

_Does Fjord know?_

 

* * *

 

 

They're on yet another job for the Gentleman and a small town they decide to stay at is holding a spring festival, much to Jester's glee.

Yasha is back as well, then promptly dragged to a strength contest by Jester and Beau. He watches them leave, Jester excitedly telling Yasha what they've been up to while she was gone.

It's been a long time since they last saw each other and Molly has really missed Yasha, but a part of him that is still too anxious around Jester wins. Which is bullshit. It's such a fucking stupid situation. Mollymauk Tealeaf doesn't get anxious around people. Especially not _Jester_. 

But, alas, this is what it's like to be in love, apparently. Fucking annoying.

So he ends up walking around with Caleb and keeping an eye on Nott's sticky fingers, while Fjord and Caduceus disappear into the crowd.

It's quite nice, after all the fighting they've done lately, to be at a place where he's more in his element. Dancing, drinking, everyone so loud and full of joy, he can't help but to lose himself in it. Few hours in they're nursing their drinks, Nott and Molly discussing which of the two dancers they've encountered did their job better while Caleb mourns the lack of books at the festival.

"People come here to have fun, of course there's no books, " says Molly. "Relax."

The wizard murmurs something that sounds like 'I've never been relaxed in my life' and Molly is about to tease how that has to be an exaggeration, when he feels a hand around his wrist gently pulling him back.

He turns around and comes face to face with Fjord, the half-orc looking annoyed and a bit flustered. Behind Fjord, Caduceus is slowly walking towards them with a soft smile. It's quite hilarious, Molly thinks, to imagine the two of them going shopping. And judging by Fjord's annoyance it's exactly where they went.

"Oh, you're back!" Nott yells. "Thought we would have to hunt you down in that crowd."

That catches Caleb's attention as well. He takes one look at Fjord and a smirk appears on his face. Molly suspects that he got to the same conclusion about their whereabouts.

"Had fun?" There's a teasing tilt to Caleb's voice that Molly greatly appreciates.

Fjord just glares at both of them. It's his _I've spent the last few hours shopping with a person who actually enjoys it and has the slowest conversations with everyone_  look.

Caduceus on the other hand, looks delighted. It's been some time but Molly still isn't sure if he really is that clueless about Fjord's hatred for shopping or if he just enjoys annoying the man. He hopes it's the latter.

They begin slowly moving towards where they saw the girls went. Nott offers Caduceus some of her ale which he politely declines. Molly is in the process of finishing his drink when Fjord places something in his hand, not meeting his eyes.

"What-"

"I got these for you," he stutters, his cheeks a deep, lovely shade of green that Molly would have laughed at if he wasn't so utterly confused.

"It's, Uh, " Fjord takes a deep breath, seemingly annoyed at himself. "They reminded me of you."

Looking down, there's a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Soft, pretty pink and red flowers.

At that point Molly's sure he's as flustered as Fjord, if not more.

He feels like he should say something, preferably something flirty and smooth, though unfortunately most of his brain is too busy processing that Fjord just gave him _flowers_. If it was Yasha it wouldn't be surprising, but Fjord just isn't a person who buys flowers for his friends. Lovers, though...

Which makes no sense. Fjord is with Jester.

Jester, who kissed Molly not a week ago.

Jester, who is currently running towards them, Yasha and Beau in tow.

"Guys!" she yells and runs into her boyfriend, gathering him in a what looks like bone-crushing hug. "We won! We totally destroyed them! Can you believe that!"

Fjord looks like he'll start suffocating soon.

"I can actually, yes," he presses a kiss to her head. "Good job, Jess."

Satisfied with that answer, Jester lets him go. She spins around and wraps her arms around Molly.

"Molly! Did you guys have fun?" she asks, beaming at him. "Did you get me pastries?"

"Of course, dear," he says and kisses her forehead. "Nott has them."

Instead of simply thanking him, Jester puts her hands on his cheeks and pulls him down in a kiss.

Before Molly gets a chance to react, she flashes him yet another bright grin, then runs off to tell Nott how they destroyed whoever the unfortunate souls competing against them were.

Molly feels like his brain is about to explode. Or maybe his heart.

There are still flowers in his hands. Fjord is still standing in front of him, fondness and longing written all over his face that Molly doesn't know what to do with, except that he kind of wants Fjord to keep looking at him like that forever.

Which doesn't happen, because only a second later the fondness melts into confusion and worry.

"Molls?"

It's safe to say, at this point, that Molly is terrified of romance and anything that involves him talking about his feelings. Which seems to be what's required of him at the moment.

_Nope_ , his brain supplies. _Not today. Not ever._  

So Molly does what Molly does the best: he runs away.

It just happens to involve less running and more bumping into Yasha the moment he turns around. She looks at him, worry on her face, and Molly really wishes people would stop doing that.

Yasha then notices the flowers and looks up at him again, now more curious than worried. Molly is faintly aware of Fjord making his way towards the others.

"Where did you get these?" she asks, her eyes on the flowers. Molly swallows.

"Fjord."

She lifts an eyebrow. "He got these for you?"

"No actually, they're for you, because we all missed you. I'm just keeping them safe." Yasha looks deeply unimpressed. "Yeah, he got them for me."

Saying it out loud feels surreal. The only person who had ever gotten him flowers before was Yasha, then there was that one time Jester bought them for the whole group. The closest thing he's had to something as romance and romantic feelings is sex, so it's safe to say that he's way out of his comfort zone.

But it feels _nice_ , getting flowers, kisses, it makes him feel loved and giddy. It's so horribly similar to that book Jester rambles about. But it's definitely better than that ugly feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach when Jester and Fjord are all over each other, so endearing and sweet, when he desperately wants to be all over both of them too.

He grips the flowers tighter.

"I don't know what these mean," he sighs. "I don't know what he meant with it."

"Well, I do know what they mean." Yasha reaches for the flowers and gently presses her fingers to the pink petals. A soft smile crosses her face. Molly would buy her flowers every day to see her smile like that.

"These are camellias," she says. "The pink ones symbolise longing, the red ones passion and desire. All very cliché."

She looks up at him again, now with a knowing smirk on her face. Damn her.

"You don't know that. Fjord doesn't know that."

"I do know that, Molly, I just told you," she rolls her eyes and carefully lets go of the flowers. "And I'm pretty sure Fjord knows too. He went with Caduceus."

"So?"

"Caduceus knows about flowers. He told me about them. He told me about these."

" _Fuck_."

They hear Beau yelling at them to hurry. Yasha puts a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go."

While they're catching up to the rest of the group Molly keeps wrecking his head about the flowers. About Jester kissing him.

He may be obvious about how he feels towards them but neither Fjord nor Jester would ever make that into a joke. But then again they can't actually want something more with him. He's not the type of a person people want to date. Fuck? Yes. Get drunk with? Probably. Be in an actual relationship with? No.

Molly knows what he is. Loud, obnoxious, a liar. Can't stay in one place for too long. Somehow both too much and not enough. A steady, loving relationship is something he would only ruin.

Yasha, because she knows him too well and because he's shit at hiding his emotional crises, notices his silence. So she keeps quietly talking, about what she saw during her travels, how they won that game earlier, shows him new flowers in her book. Then once they're all heading into the tavern she whispers to him, pointing at the camellias.

"Why are you panicking though? Shouldn't this be a good thing? You've been pining after them for months."

"I've done no such thing."

"You're insufferable."

He sees her smile as she mockingly shoves him aside and enters the tavern. The night seems so much brighter.

 

* * *

 

 

Molly decides that he does not like the idea of dying by falling into a lava pit.

Really, it would be an ugly death, would completely ruin his coat. He doesn't even want to think about his body.

Which is a shame, since he's just hanging off the cliff above it.

But he won't be for much longer. His fingers are slipping, and not for the first time Molly wishes he had Yasha's strength. Or wings.

_There's no way they'll get me back this time_ , is the last thought he has as he loses the grip on the stone and he-

He doesn't fall.

A blue hands grabs his and Jester pulls him up.

Molly stumbles into her, legs shaking, but she catches him before he hits the ground.

When he dares to open his eyes Jester is staring down at him, wide eyed and terrified. For a moment it makes him forget that he's the one who almost died, again, because Jester should never look so sad and scared. He doesn't want to be the cause of that look.

The horror on her face, muffled yells from the outside and the heat, the overwhelming heat so close, way too close, is all clouding his mind a bit and the words are out of his mouth before he has time to think.

"I think I'm in love with you."

If he had any strength left he would wince from how shaky his voice sounds, but Jester merely blinks. From his position he can clearly see the tears gathered in her eyes but he catches a ghost of a smile on her lips. She looks like she's about to speak when they both hear someone calling for them.

"Now is _really_ not the time!" Caleb yells. He's standing at the cave opening, eyes at something behind them, the rest of the Mighty Nein already outside.

Which reminds Molly of a dragon further down the cave. People who sent them here to retrieve the stolen goods did not mention a fucking dragon.

A dragon is not something they're ready for.

They run out of the damned cave, not looking back.

 

* * *

 

 

The smell of burnt flesh and smoke lingers.

Jester doesn't let go of his hand the whole trip back. It's not much but Molly appreciates it, the contact and her presence are surprisingly soothing.

The trip back is quiet except for a whispered _thank you_  after Jester spends her last spell on Molly's burned skin and quiet murmurs from Fjord and Beau, the ones dealing the best with the shit state the the group is in. They walk at the front, their weapons at the ready.

Yasha carries Nott on her back with Caduceus just in front of them, who occasionally shoots Yasha, Nott and Molly apologetic looks. Both he and Jester are completely out of spells, already used them on the trio who suffered the worst burns.

Caleb follows behind. His eyes are distant, like he's a bit out of it. Although he somehow still looks focused, more than the rest of them.

It's eerie, sometimes, how calculating Caleb can stay in battle. Molly recalls the wizard staying behind to make sure he and Jester got away in time, shooting one last fireball at the beast behind them, knowing it wouldn't do much. But they needed all the time they could get. They would've been dead if Caleb hadn't managed to teleport them.

He worries about them. It's easy to miss under all the anxiety and occasional attempts to keep them at bay, but once they got to know him, learn the ways he shows affection, the fondness is obvious.

Molly makes a mental note to thank Caleb later. He'd probably appreciate books more than spoken words, he never accepts their praise after all. He wonders if Caleb had always been such a self-deprecating man despite the power he holds.

Up until then Molly manages to ignore the pain from the burned part of his face and arm, but slowly the adrenaline wears off, and he feels panic gradually settling in as well as the pain increasing.

Jester grips his hand tighter.

She doesn't mention how long it takes him to stop shaking.

 

* * *

 

 

After the dragon fiasco things get a bit calmer.

They go back to Zadash.

Caleb and Beau spend lots of time at the Cobalt Soul library, whatever it is they're doing there. Nott comes with them.

Molly avoids Fjord and Jester. His face hurts. He shares a room with Yasha, tells himself it's to spend more time with her, to give the other two more space.

Lies to himself some more. Avoids mirrors.

Yasha leaves again, with a promise that she'll be back soon, and Molly wants her to know how different their definitions of soon are but bites back the retort. She doesn't deserve his bitterness.

Turns out that spending some quality time with Caduceus is helpful. The firbolg is calm, or at least calmer and more collected than the rest of the Mighty Nein.

Though he's a disaster in his own way.

The thing is, he's weird, a different kind of weird, but Molly loves it all the same.

In a few days together they drink some tea and exchange stories. Molly learns about gardening and ghosts and Caduceus enjoys his tales from the circus. They figure out that Caduceus is not interested in sex but likes making out just fine. An entire day goes by as they cuddle after smoking something he and Beau bought from a suspicious woman in an equally suspicious shop.

They talk about the gods. Caduceus speaks lovingly of his goddess, of nature and harmony, destiny. Molly silently wonders if what he does is enough, if he should be more.

It's just what he needs, relaxing and makes him forget about everything that was bothering him for some time. But then.

"You should talk to them," Caduceus murmurs one morning over a cup of tea. "Or just talk to someone about whatever it is that's going on. You're just torturing yourself this way."

Molly doesn't.

What he does instead is test his theory about can someone fuck the unnecessary emotions out of you. Turns out that no, they can not. Or maybe he just hasn't tried hard enough.

It's yet another uneventful cold night, he's just a bit too drunk when Beau joins him at the tavern. She punches his shoulder instead of a greeting and sits down.

"You look like shit," she says. Molly decides she's probably right.

"Fuck off," he slurs and slaps away her hand trying to steal his drink. "Buy your own, asshole."

Despite his best efforts she gets the bottle and downs it.

In the corner of his eye Molly notices Caleb and Nott walking upstairs. As Caleb nods at him, Jester practically manifests in front of them and successfully steals Nott, probably to go pull some ridiculous prank. Molly is too drunk and scared to ask. He waves at Caleb with a grin and gets a tired look in response.

"Really though," Beau says as she puts her feet on the table. "You're drinking alone and you look horrible. What's up with that?"

She notices his amused expression and hurriedly adds.

"Not that I give a shit. Because I don't."

"Mhm."

"I've been in that library for too long, " she groans, takes the bottle and sneers when she realises its empty. "Fuck off."

"You know," Molly starts. "I swear there was a hot guy here that I was gonna suck off." He looks around, turns to Beau again and shrugs. "He's not here anymore."

She scoffs. "Must be your face. That dragon didn't make it any more bearable." She elbows him. Molly elbows her back. Beau gets up to buy another drink.

The face is a sore spot, not that Molly would ever admit that. It differs from the rest of his scars, which are mostly done by himself in attempts to help his family, while this one he got by his own foolishness and uselessness in the battle.

It's a pathetic thought. He's well aware that he's trying to drink away those ugly emotions but chooses to ignore it.

Also the scar is just plain ugly. Doesn't fit with his image at all.

Beau gets back with two bottles. When they're both halfway through their drinks he pulls out his cards, makes up a game on the spot and Beau is just drunk enough that she agrees to play with only mild complaining. A hooded elven figure plays a jovial tune that gradually turn more melancholy on a violin in the corner.

Beau leaves to get more drinks.

Few minutes later Molly loses his patience and heads upstairs to his room.

It takes him way too long to conquer the stairs. The world is spinning and his head feels like it's about to explode. He needs to find his room. What number was it? Are there numbers? Is he supposed to have a key? Did Yasha—

Drunk as he is, he walks into something. Someone? His head hurts even more.

Then he's falling, on the floor, in the lava, on the cold snow. And he blacks out.

 

* * *

 

 

He wakes up to the familiar sound of Beau slamming the door. If someone else heard her (and someone probably has) they might think she's pissed, but Molly has learned it's just Beau being Beau.

His head is still throbbing.

Judging by the lack of light he detects with just a little squinting it's still night. Someone is shaking his shoulder.

"Drink this," his brain is slow, but that voice he knows, he'd recognise that voice anywhere. "Molls, please. The water."

He's vaguely aware of letting Fjord pull him up in a sitting position. He's in a bed? It's not his bed.

The room keeps spinning.

"Where are we?" he asks, or it's what he wants to ask but the words come out slurred and indistinct. Fjord, bless him, is used to Molly and Beau getting drunk to the point of incoherence and understands.

"My room," he answers. "I don't know where yours is."

"I don't know either."

Fjord snorts and helps him drink the water. Molly is leaning heavily on him, the half-orc too warm and comfortable for his own good.

"You should probably sleep," Fjord suggests, as he moves Molly's messed up hair out of his face.

"Mm. No," he mumbles and cuddles closer to Fjord. But then he gives him a gentle push and Molly's already sprawled on the bed again. He feels the blanket being thrown on him. "Fjord?"

"Hm?" He sounds so close, close enough to touch, to kiss.

"Stay with me?"

"Of course."

Even with his eyes closed everything feels like it's spinning. It makes him want to throw up.

He remembers bumping into someone on the way to his room.

"Did I run into Beau?" he asks.

"Nah, it was me. She just came here to check on you. Apparently you left her."

"Aw." He loves her. He's so drunk. "Fjord?"

"Molly."

"Thank you for the flowers," he yawns. "They were lovely."

Last thing he's aware before he falls asleep is Fjord kissing his cheek.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you up for a dance, Mollymauk?"

Molly averts his gaze from Fjord and Jester dancing to Caleb, standing with his arm outstretched in front of him.

Well, why the hell not.

Caleb is surprisingly good while Molly keeps stepping on the man's feet. Nevertheless, they hold the rhythm and it's more enjoyable than expected.

"Why the sudden desire to dance with me?" he asks as the wizard spins him around.

"I got tired of you miserably staring at them and thought this might work," Caleb nods towards the other two dancing further away in the tavern. "I'm getting some mixed results here."

Molly purposely steps on his foot. Caleb smirks.

They dance some more in comfortable silence, with a decreasing amount of Molly ruining Caleb's boots. Caleb keeps his eyes on Molly's jewellery and Molly keeps catching himself occasionally stealing glances at Fjord and Jester. _Fucking hell._  

The whole thing is incredibly frustrating. They're having fun. He's having fun. So why can't he get a break from these goddamned feelings for just a moment?

He catches Caleb looking at him. Subtly judging him. Molly raises an eyebrow.

"Just talk to them already," Caleb sighs.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh?" he sounds dubious. Which is very fair.

"Yep. All good," he grins. "Nothing to worry about. I'm getting over it." He's not. Caleb is obviously aware of that.

"Mollymauk, for gods' sake," Cakeb groans. "Just _talk_ to them. It's Jester and Fjord! What's the worst that could happen?"

Molly thinks about it.

Perhaps they do want something with him. Perhaps it works for a bit. Then they get annoyed with him, he gets restless and fucks it up. Everything goes to shit.

Eventually he would wake up in the middle of a night with only one word on his lips and they will realise he is not just what he shows to the world. And who wants to love an empty person? He is so much less then people see.

What comes out is:

"They'll see I'm not enough."

Caleb visibly winces, his brows furrowing.

"That is," he stammers. A different song starts and they move out of the way. The wizard still won't meet his eyes, looking over his shoulder instead, but Molly has learned long ago not to confuse Caleb's anxiety with rudeness. "That is not something I'd expect to hear from you."

"I'm having a bit of a crisis," he admits.

"I can see that."

There's a beat of silence. He barely hears Caleb whisper.

"I don't think I can be of much help here."

Carefully, making sure Caleb sees what he's doing, Molly steps closer and places a kiss on his forehead. "I don't expect you to help. There's nothing to worry about. But thank you."

Leaving Caleb with Nott and Beau, the duo in the middle of a drinking contest, he makes his way to the bar. A bartender, tattooed exhausted looking dwarf looks up at him.

"Good evening, Miss. Mister?" he frowns, tattoos on his forehead scrunching. "Whatever you are."

Molly grins at him. "I am many things."

"Fair. What can I get you?"

"Whatever can get me drunk soon?"

The man grunts.

Before he even gets his drink something very bright and very blue appears beside him. His heart speeds up. It's pathetic.

"Do you have some milk?" Jester asks as she rests her elbows on the creaky wood. The bartender nods. "Thank you!" Then she turns around on her stool and looks at Molly, grinning, fangs and all.

He takes a moment to look at her, again, from freckles and little bows tied on her horns to the low cut of her dress and many colorful rings. Her curly hair is tied up in a messy bun, strands of it falling out. The tiny purple flowers Nott put in her hair make her eyes stand out so nicely—

"Mollyy," she pats his cheek.

Averting his gaze, he takes a sip of his drink. It's fairly disgusting. “I was listening.”

"I wasn't even talking."

"You're just fucking me now."

"No, but I would like to." She smirks, absentmindedly playing with his horn jewelry.

He's not drunk enough for this.

And apparently he isn't about to be, either, because Jester moves his drink out of the way the moment he reaches for it.

"I want to talk to you," she says in response to Molly's questioning look. "Preferably while you're at least partially sober."

"I'd prefer to be drunk for this," he admits.

Jester pouts and leans towards him, so close he can feel her breath on his face. The hand previously playing with his jewellery is now resting on his cheek.

So close. Not close enough.

He wonders if she can hear how hard his heart is beating.

"Molly."

"Yes, dear?"

"Do you want to kiss me?" she asks in that calm, reassuring voice and Molly melts. "Do you want to kiss Fjord?"

He takes a deep breath, heart in his throat.

"What if I do want you both?" he whispers, leaning into her palm.

Jester's eyed widen. She backs away a bit and grins. "Oh good! I was hoping you'd say that."

"You were— _what_?"

Now completely letting go of him Jester takes her milk and starts talking.

"We've been flirting with you for ages, Molly! You can't say you haven't noticed," she pouts again. Usually, Molly finds it adorable but at that moment he just feels guilty. Then her expression turns serious and she leans towards him once again. "You even said you thought you were in love with me. But then you avoided us both. I don't get it."

She takes a sip of her milk.

Molly can't get words out of his mouth. All that time he was so absorbed in his feelings that he didn't even think about how they felt. But then again, Molly could hardly believe they wanted anything more than sex from him. Which, in any other circumstances, would be more than fine. But everything is so much more complicated when feelings are involved.

"Fjord said it was a spur of the moment thing," Jester continues. "Since you almost died and I saved you and all that. Also, you seemed like you were having a bad time. So we left you alone. But I'm not so sure that was the right thing to do anymore."

Was it?

Sure, he was having a bad time and still is if he's being honest, mostly caused by his very unwelcome feelings towards the two of his companions, though there were other factors as well.

Would it help if he told anyone? Probably. But Molly had always been so good at running away and not confronting any of his problems. So why bother others with them? Sooner or later he would get over it and things would be fine.

"I don't expect you do anything about it," he explains.

"But, see," Jester cuts him off. "You should. Because we're friends and we love you. And we're here when you need help. Okay?"

Molly nods absentmindedly. Jester punches his shoulder. "I'm serious!"

"I know! I'm sorry!" he says, heart in his throat. "I'm sorry I was avoiding you," he can't look at her, eyes full of worry and understanding. He's doesn't know what to do with all of it. "I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't think you'd even notice. Or care. It was shitty and selfish and I am so sorry."

Jester blinks. "But why would— I thought—"

"Because I _am_  in love with you," he finally grabs his drink, now too occupied to care about the awful taste. "Both of you. And it scares the shit out of me and I don't know what to do with it."

He drinks some more. "I'm really not good at this."

"Obviously."

"Hey!"

Jester laughs, loud enough to be heard over the music. Molly wants to kiss her so badly, to make her laugh like that more. He squeezes her hand.

"I'm really sorry, Jester."

It's not the best apology, but it's all he has.

Perhaps if he knew this conversation was about to happen he would've made something up. Something reasonable. Something that would make running away easier. But since Jester managed to catch him off guard and because she's kind of a weak spot for Molly, she gets the whole truth. Stripped of a few details but the truth nevertheless.

In the midst of it he doesn't even notice that Fjord has joined them, until he feels someone taking his drink. Again.

"What is it with you people and stealing my alcohol, for gods sake," he complains. "Also, how long exactly have you been standing behind me?"

"Long enough," Fjord smiles apologetically.

Molly groans.

"This is good! Now you don't have to repeat everything!" He feels a few gentle pats on his shoulder and then Jester takes his hand again, now more forceful and excited. She looks up at Fjord. "You see, I was right!"

"Right about what?" he turns around to look at Fjord.

The atmosphere is much lighter now and Molly, while still anxious and confused, feels a bit better when he sees how flustered Fjord is as well. Fjord, who is already looking at him, a familiar fondness in his eyes.

"So, does this mean that you uh—" he looks at his girlfriend again, quietly asking for help. It's Jester's turn to groan.

"You're both _impossible._ Molly!" she pulls him closer to her. It's the moments like this that remind Molly how strong Jester actually is. And how much he's into that. "We've made it pretty obvious that we want you, to you know, be with us, be our partner, whatever you want to call it. And! You did say you have feelings for both of us. So, we just wanna know, and you can say no! Obviously," she looks at him, her voice surprisingly small now but still reassuring. "Do you want this?"

"Because we would love to see how this goes," Fjord says. "If you're willing to try."

It's almost funny, or irritating, how now that they're asking so openly it all seems much easier. It's certainly not simple, there are still doubts and fears, but he finds it easier to breathe.

Molly thinks about Jester's hand in his, grounding and so loving. He thinks about the flowers.

Longing. Passion. Desire.

At least that he's familiar with. He can work with that.

"I'm very willing."

Jester beams and tackles him in a hug.

They almost fall over, but thankfully Fjord is right behind and catches them. The bartender shoots them a disapproving look.

Fjord apologies. Not even his charm can hide the smile in his voice.

"You know," he says. "I'm perfectly content with just going to sleep now. We can talk about this more in the morning."

A soft gasp leaves Jester's mouth. "Cuddles! Molly you're staying with us now!"

"If you want to," Fjord adds hurriedly.

Still sitting with a lapful of Jester, Molly nods and slowly they drag themselves to Fjord and Jester's room.

 

* * *

 

 

He wakes up with a tuft of blue curls in his face and someone's fingers running through his hair.

It is a rather nice way to wake up.

"Mornin'," Fjord says as he kisses the base of Molly's horn, hand resting on his face. Molly hums.

Gradually, the conversation from last night comes back to him.

There's no time for him to be anxious about it, with Fjord gently stroking his cheek and Jester snoring in his arms, he assures himself that it's fine. He's okay. This can work. And he believes it this time.

"Stop thinking," Fjord says. "Too early for that."

Molly snorts. "You two have no idea what you're getting yourselves into."

"No," Fjord murmurs and carefully, so Jester doesn't wake up, he sits up and places a kiss on Molly's lips. "But we can't wait to find out."

**Author's Note:**

> this wasnt supposed to be over 1k words but oh well. im sorry if i fucked up the language or characters too much, thank you for reading<3


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